EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

My wife is quite worried for her brother who recently had to close down his shop after many years in business. We visited his family in Rembau last weekend to offer our support during this difficult and trying time for him and his family.

My wife and I are very fond of my brother-in-law. Hence, we are very concern of his difficulties. We can empathise with him because we have been through the same hell and back. Perhaps now is the best time for us to offer our insight.

I dedicate this writing especially to my brother-in-law, Anuar Mohamad, and to any of you who finds it difficult to comprehend "Why this has to happen to me?". Believe you me, I had the same question many years ago, and I found my answer.

In his famously inspiring 2005 Stanford commencement speech, Steve Jobs said, "I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me."

 

 

Why? Because, after that devastating event, he founded NeXT and Pixar, met the love of his life, and ultimately returned to Apple where he led the greatest turnaround in the history of corporate America. And Jobs attributes all those great things to his "very public failure" at Apple:

 

 

"I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith."

Everything happens for a reason. And everytime, without fail, that reason is always for our own good.

Steve Jobs' speech resonates with me because in my experience, success and happiness has always followed failure and loss.

I'm not sure why that is, but it appears to be true. That said, there is a catch.

It's not preordained and it's not that way for everyone. It depends on how you react to it, how you handle it. Not immediately, of course. Everyone feels sad and depressed when they get fired, lose their job, or for whatever reason, feel that everything they've lived for has been ripped away from them.

But after a while, something important happens, at least to me. I feel like, if I can live through that, I can live through anything. I feel lighter, unburdened, able to take greater risks and work with greater stamina and clarity. I'm more open to people, opportunity and adventure.

After surviving disaster, I have always just let go. I let go of material expectations and pressures I put on myself. I let go of what I thought mattered because I realized how little they actually did. That, for me, has always been the key. Letting go.

A man related about how a fire destroyed his entire home. His family -- his wife and four kids -- had all their possessions and mementos destroyed. They were displaced for months. But what surprised him the most about the experience was the unexpected realization that everything he lost didn't add up to much while what remained -- his family -- was all that mattered. He found the whole experience to be strangely and inexplicably uplifting.

In the Stanford speech, Jobs was blunt and eloquent as always when he said, "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."

If you've never experienced great loss, you probably can't fully appreciate how empowering that message can be. But if you have or if you're experiencing it now, then you definitely need to hear it, understand it and believe it. Because in my experience, no truer or more powerful words have ever been spoken.

10 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO AT WORK

by Steve Tobak

Don't:

1. Say or write anything you wouldn't want plastered on the Yahoo home page, or in the hands of the SEC, FTC, DOJ, or IRS. You have zero expectation of privacy at work and should therefore assume that anything and everything is being recorded for all eternity and will come back to haunt you at the worst possible time. That includes emails, phone calls, even hallway or parking lot conversations.
   
2. Over-apologize. We all make mistakes and it's always good to fess up, but in business, you can go too far and actually make matters worse. If it's a minor issue, just a quick "sorry about that" is fine. If it's a big screw-up, apologize in private, face-to-face. Look the guy in the eye, say your piece, and be done with it. If you want confirmation, then ask, "Are we good now?" Don't grovel, make promises you can't keep, or anything else. Just man-up and leave it alone.
   
3. Take your smartphone to the bathroom. Hopeless addiction to smartphones, needing to stay connected 24x7, and being constantly pressed for time, do not belong in a place where flushes can be heard on the other end of the line or, God forbid, the thing can drop into something wet, white, and porcelain. Leave it in your pocket and, if it rings, have the good sense not to answer.
   
4. Cross swords with your boss, your boss's boss, or any other boss. Too many of you just don't get how civilization, organization, or the lack of either - which we affectionately call the jungle - works. You simply don't square off with your boss or anyone in the chain of command. If you lose, you lose; if you win, you still lose. It'll end badly and reflect badly on you no matter how it goes down. If you want to know how to deal with a bad boss, click the link.
   
5. Go looking for trouble. If you're in a bad mood or pissed off at somebody or something, walk it off or treat yourself to a nice greasy donut or something. If you go looking for trouble, however, I can almost guarantee you will find it and it won't end well for you. Don't pick fights, push buttons, or otherwise give anyone a hard time. It's called acting out, it's childish, and it'll stunt your career, big-time.
   
6. Make commitments you can't keep or exaggerate your ability or influence. And don't lie either. The more straightforward and genuine you are, the smoother your career - and your life, for that matter - will go. Do what you say you're going to do, leave the BS for the other guy, and your credibility will grow, people will count on you for more and more, and off you go.
   
7. Get angry, abusive, combative, or loud in an open or cubicle area. Admittedly, I was often guilty of this, back in the day. It wasn't acceptable then and it's not acceptable now, but at least then, it was a relatively common occurrence. These days, you stand out like a big bully, big-time. And nobody likes a bully.
   
8. Say or do stuff people really don't want to hear or see. "Too much information" might be a bit subjective, but there's a common sense line you shouldn't cross, including anything to do with your sex life, religious beliefs, political leanings, finances, holistic cures for mysterious ailments, frequency of bowel movements, revealing tats or scars that are and should remain hidden by clothing, you get the picture.
   
9. Act like a whiny, PITA negatron that nobody wants to have anything to do with. It's ironic, but those who do all the complaining are the ones that make the workplace a living hell, not the people or stuff they're always whining about. Think about it.
   
10. Talk trash about a coworker to anyone, anywhere on company property. You can be sure it'll get around and come back to bite you in the end. Save it for friends, your spouse, or better still, the dog.

EMPLOYEES FIRST, CUSTOMERS SECOND

Tony Fernandes said "EMPLOYEE FIRST, CUSTOMER SECOND". Perhaps he is now receptive to the idea that people is the core element of a company's identity. Beyond professionalism and happiness at one's job, an employee's sense of worth within the context of this identity directly affects the quality of the service they provide in the eyes of their customers. Our job as a transformational leader, therefore, is to provide the necessary groundwork which can facilitate this.

This line of thought is said to be the latest fad in modern management thinking. Fortune magazine called this "the most modern management idea". It is packaged by Vineet Nayar who successfully practiced it in his IT company, HCL Technologies. His book "EMPLOYEE FIRST, CUSTOMER SECOND" can be purchased from MPH for RM99.80

I, on the other hand, believe that the idea is not new. Its practice in modern management is.

In fact, I believe this idea has been around for as long as men's civilization itself. Do you remember a Malay proverb that we shouldn't emulate the person who does this - "kera dihutan disusukan, dagang lalu ditanakkan, anak dirumah mati kelaparan."? And Rasulullah SAW himself had said repeatedly that if you want to do good deed, you should give priority to your nearest and dearest - family, relatives, neighbours, friends etc. EFCS therefore is only an extension of these basic human values. Take care of your employees first, so that as a result they can take care of your customers.

 

An employee who is treated with respect by his employer will pass that respect to customers. An employee who is empowered to make a front line decision to meet and exceed customers expectation does so to the benefit of the company. The bottomline of this idea is to turn conventional management traditional pyramid (with MD/CEO at the top) upside down. Instead of making employees as agents of change, EFCS make the employees as owners of change.

To be able to do this, there must be earnestness and determination on part of the management to do 4 things - sharing information about the company's true state with employees, being transparent in communication and information sharing, management to be accountable to employees, and decentralizing decision making as well as transfering ownership of change to employees.

This is quite a tall order for some companies, especially the owner-operated ones. The million dollar question is: Can the management change their mindset and honestly regard employees as assets instead of tools?

To understand how this idea can help turn your organization into a successful organization like HCL Technologies, I suggest you take the first step by buying the book, digest it, and hold an intellectual discourse on this interesting subject.

WHAT DO YOU TALK ABOUT?

FORMULA FOR ACHIEVING SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

While I was in Kulim for three days from 16-18 January 2012, I was assisted by a public transport entrepreneur, Encik Zamri, with whom I enjoyed a nice chat and exchange of ideas. After listening to his takes on various current issues, I am more resolved that the formula for achieving a peaceful and successful relationship with anybody is actually very simple:

If you are wrong, apologise.

If you are right, just shut up!

How much time is left for you?

Try this metaphor. The measuring tape has a finite number: 60 inches. Our life has a finite number, albeit unknown. So, if your finite age is 60 and you are 50 years old, how long is your 'measuring tape' left?

The most important thing to do now is...what are you going to do with what is left? Time management is basically about improving the quality of your life by concentrating in quality activities only, and eliminating the non-necessities. Concentrate only on what is important in your life - physical, mental spiritual, social, financial, career and family - and be useful to others, expecting nothing in return. I assure you that you will lead a quality and meaningful life.


Remember what Albert Einstein said: Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

What can I do if my superior 'steals' my time?

Someone from Batu Gajah asked me a couple of days ago: What can I do if my superior 'steals' my time? My answer was similar to what Steve Jobs said above. Be true to yourself. Have the courage to stand up and say what you truly feels. If you are afraid of the consequences, and say or do things against your will, you will be forever trapped as a prisoner of your own conscience. 

And you have no one else to blame, but yourself!

How do I motivate my subordinate to perform above expectations?

One of my ex-programme participants asked me via e-mail a couple of days ago:  

How do I motivate my subordinate to perform above expectations? To put it another way, how do we obtain the ability to awaken their enthusiasm, commitment and passion to go the extra mile?

The thought of engaging employee's discretionary effort has always been appealing to leaders. Why? Obviously, because engaging employees discretionary effort plays a major role in shaping the success of the talented few leaders who know how to do it well.

The basic premise that we must use is that everyone is motivated by WIIFM – What’s In It For Me. If your subordinate / follower refuses to go the extra mile, you have to ask these 6 questions to yourself to determine why he doesn’t do what you want him to do:

1. Does he know what he is supposed to do?;

If he doesn’t have a clue on what he is supposed to do, how can he be motivated to do it? Your job is to ensure that the task is doable, and explained to him clearly. DO NOT ASSUME that he knows.

2. Does he  know how to do it?;

Your subordinate may be technically competent to do his job. But that doesn’t mean that he also knows how to do the extra task that you asked him to do. Make sure he does, and DO NOT ASSUME.

3. Does he think that he is already doing it?;

If he thinks that he is already doing it, you need to correct this misperception. You need to tell him the exact results that you expected.

4. Are there obstacles beyond his control?;

Sometimes in order to perform the extra task, the subordinate needs to get cooperation from other people or other department. Maybe due to his inability to work well with people, he couldn’t get the much needed cooperation. Your job is to remove the obstacles and provide all the support that you can give by bridging the gap between him and other stakeholders.

5. Does he think that something else is more important than the extra work that you asked him to do?;

You really need to talk to him on this. If you discover that he is working two jobs because he needs the extra money, for example, you need to counsel him on company policy and persuade him that this extra work you asked him to do is just as important as whatever something else he is doing. Please bear in mind that you should NEVER undermine or bad mouthing his something else just so that your extra task shines. NEVER!

6. Is he rewarded, in some ways, for not doing it?

Why was he promoted in the first place? Was it some kind of emotional bribe that you can use later? Please go deep into your conscience and answer this truthfully. He may not have been a promotable employee in the first place, and the fact that he got a promotion despite a ‘B’ grade performance can bloat his ego that he is so good that he can still expect to be rewarded even if he is not performing his best. If this is the case, then you need to counsel him and pop-up some ego balloons so that he will understand where he really stands. Please do this discreetly.

What to do now? Once you have determine your answers to the above questions, provide him with FEEDBACK. Yes! Frequent and meaningful informal feedback is more effective at unlocking discretionary effort than all other leadership techniques. This truth was discovered by the American Institute of Human Resources which commissioned research into the drivers of employee performance. They discovered that frequent, meaningful informal feedback has more impact on employee performance than any other leadership technique. All that is required is for you as the leader to illustrate how the employee’s performance, strengths and personal characteristics are critical in helping your team or organization to achieve your respective goals.

Yes, motivation comes from within. However, that doesn’t mean you as the leader cannot do anything to motivate your people. Yes, you can do something within your power to use these 5 keys to unlock the human side of supervision, which acronym is I-CURE:

1. Make people feel IMPORTANT

Demonstrate that the extra task is meaningful and important to you and the company. Make sure that he understands that the extra task you give him is actually a vehicle for his growth. As his leader, after you have made your goal clear you must empower him to perform on his own.

2. Show that you CARE

Take a sincere interest in his private life. But you need to draw a line where you shouldn’t cross.

3. UNDERSTAND  the person behind the employee

What makes him tick? His family? His hobby? His ambition? His extra time with his friends? What makes him feel satisfied?

4. REWARD employee’s efforts

Only give reward if you sincerely believe that he really deserves it that you will give it to him even if he is your worst enemy. Make sure that the reward is immediate, specific  and meaningful. Remember this general guideline: PRAISE IN PUBLIC, REPRIMAND IN PRIVATE. The operative word here is “general guideline” because there are people who are not comfortable to be praised in public.

5. ENCOURAGE two-way communication

Finally, you must be approachable at any reasonable time so that he can come to you for advise, guide or just to talk. Make sure you make some time to talk to your people EVERYDAY. Yes, everyday! And it doesn’t have to be long; 1-5 minutes a day per person is good enough. Don’t hide behind your never ending reports and meetings until you don’t have time for your people.

Finally, what you need to do now is to talk to him privately and without interruption, as in counselling. Prepare what you need to talk about, and how you are going to say it. If it doesn’t sound right, rephrase. And then practice, practice, practice until you are confident enough to say it without offending him or anyone else. 

Remember that you are not paid for what you do. You are paid for what your people do!